My miracle baby

My name is Tanya and I am a 36 year old mother to 3 handsome boys and one beautiful step-daughter. My boys are 13, 8, and 13 weeks old and my daughter is fixing to be 19 years old. I know I spaced them apart very good (totally my husbands idea). I live in Louisiana (yes the weather is hot here). I was working on my nursing degree, but right now that is on hold, my newborn seemed to change all that. I decided to try to have one more child because I dearly wanted a little girl so I finally talked my husband into it and got pregnant in Sept 07. First let me say that my second child, Mack, was born premature at 32 weeks and weighed 4lbs 2 ozs and stayed in NICU for 5 weeks, due to preeclempsia. After this child, I got pregnant again and miscarried at 6 weeks, so my husband said no more kids. Well it only took me 7 years to get him to agree to have another one. So when I got pregnant this time, I knew there were risk involved but I desperatly wanted another child and I didn't realize that each premature pregnancy seems to get worse and the child starts coming earlier than the last. Well when I got pregnant in Sept, I miscarried at 9 weeks and was devestated, once again I would have to have the dreaded DNC performed and no baby. It felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. Well, my doctor finally decided to do genetic studies on the fetus and took blood to see if anything was causing my miscarriages and she found out that I had Factor Five Leiden (which is a blood clotting disorder) and told me if I decided to have another child I would have to take Lovenox shots everday, my entire pregnancy. Well most of you probably know that when you get a DNC you can't have relations for two weeks after that then its ok. Well, lets just say two weeks is along time (haha) and I wound up getting pregnant again exactly two weeks after my DNC. I had no clue because the doctor told me my period would be irregular, so I just had a feeling that I might be and took a pregnancy test, and in a second it appeared with two lines, and I just about fell out. I didn't believe it so I took another one and it confirmed that I indeed was pregnant. Well, then I started freaking out because she told me as soon as I got pregnant to call so I could take the Lovenox shots and I called and she was out of town, so they referred me to another doctor. When I went to the appointment they asked me when my last period was and I told them, I thought I was only 3 weeks pregnant, but when they did the ultrasound, they said you are 7 weeks pregnant, I was shocked to say the least. I forgot to say that when my doctor did the genetics testing on my miscarriage baby, she gave us the lab work to take to the new doctor and I found out that the baby that I miscarried would have been my long awaited little girl. I was completely devestated, but now I was pregnant again and hoped this too would be my girl. Well, they started me on the lovenox shots and started me with a high risk doctor because I was over 35 and already had preeclempsia. So I had ultrasounds weekly and doctors visits weekly with two doctors. Well when I was about 12 weeks, the high risk doctor told us that our baby seemed to show signs of Down Syndrome because my blood work was saying that it had it. I was so upset and they wanted me to do an amnio but I said no, I am already high risk and I know amnio can cause miscarriage, I don't need any help making this pregnancy worse. They told me I could go to Dallas and have a genetic testing procedure done and it would tell us exactly if the baby had it but it also could cause miscarriage, my husband wanted to do it, but my gut told me no. So we suffered through the next couple of months and every time we had an ultrasound done, he would tell me that the only marker the baby has for down syndrome is that it is tiny and behind on the growth chart. Well, we also were able to find out what our baby was and I remember telling the tech, if you tell me it is a girl, you would make me the happiest girl in the world, and she said, ok, I will tell you it is a girl then. I was so excited and sceptical, I said or you sure and she said yes. Well, each time we went I asked her if anything had grown in that area and she laughed and said no it is still a girl. Well, one day she printed out the picture and showed me how she knew it was a girl and I looked at it and said, that doesn't look like a girl to me, it looks like aboy, because it was kind of raised a little, she told me no, there are three lines across the middle so it is a girl, it is just big and puffy. Well, mothers intuition is usually always right, but I decided to let myself believe it was a girl and went out and allowed myself to by two cute outfits, but that was all, I still wasn't sure and I didn't want to spend alot of money and then it be a boy. Well, we coasted along and my from the moment I was pregnant my blood pressure was already high, it was 125/90 on my first visit and I tried to warn my doctor and tell her that this is a high reading for me, because it is usually 110/65 all the time. Well, like last time, she played it off as it was ok and they could not diagnose me with high blood pressure until after 20 weeks. Something told me I should have changed doctors, but I hated to hurt anyones feelings, I wished now I woul d have listened to my gut and did it anyways. Well, I gained alot of weight and started swelling and feeling very bad around 23 weeks and I knew something wasnt right. So, I was 25 weeks and had a doctors appointment on Wednesday and on the sunday before I was in bed sick with a migraine and throwing up for 2 days, I thought I litterally was going to die. I made it through until wednesday and went to my high risk doctor first and they took my blood pressure and It was really high and I told them about me being in the bed with a migraine and how sick I had been, and the tech went out and came back in and checked the baby and then the doctor came in and said, you need to be admitted to the hospital right now. I was in total shock and I thought this can;t be happening. It is too early! He told me that with my history and the migraine that he didn't want to take any chances and said it would be best to be checked in the hospital. I told them that my doctor hadn't done anything about my blood pressure and they were very upset about it. Well they called my doctor and told her what they thought about me going to the hospital and she told them to send me to her office first. So we went to her office and she did a urine sample on me and said i had trace amounts of protein in my urine, but that I could do a 24 hour urine at home instead of going in the hospital. I was really scared, because I knew how bad I felt and I had gained 15 pounds in a week. So, I think she saw the concerned looked on mine and my husbands face and said she would compromise and go ahead and admit me to the hospital, but that she was going out of town the next day. Talk about service, well it actually worked out to my advantage, because the doctor in the hospital was much better and explained the seriousness of my pregnancy to me. They did a 24 hour urine and I had 750 grams of protein in my urine with is almost triple the amount you are suppose to have, so they told me that I would have to stay in the hospital until they had to deliever this baby. Wow, talk about a shock and me and my husband were trying to figure out what we were going to do with our other two boys, at this time we lived an hour away from the hospital, and my boys were still in school. Thank God we had help with some people at our church and they helped us out with my boys. Well, I was admitted on a wednesday and the whole next week, my blood pressure kept skyrocketing. I felt horrible and you want to know what the worst pain I had in the hospital was, believe it or not but it was my neck. I was in horrible pain in my neck, to the point I was begging for drugs, which I usually dont take anything because I always have terrible side effects from everything, but I was in severe pain just from my neck. They finally got me an egg crate for my bed and that helped a little bit, but not much. I have scoliosis and have to sleep on a soft bed and the hospital beds just aren't made for bad backs. So anyways, we coasted along for a week, and then the next tuesday, I had eaten around 3:00 and the doctor came in about 6:00pm and said they were going to have to take the baby, because the protein in my urine was going up and my blood pressure just wasn't getting cotrolled enough to prolong my delivery. He told me that since I had eaten at 3:00 they would have to wait 8 hours to do it, but he then came back in and said, we have to deliver at 6:30. I was in total shock and didn't have time to process anything. They wheeled me into deliver, tried to start an epideral and after three tries a begged them to put me out. So once again my poor husband didn't get to see his baby being born. Well, while I was being delivered,my friends were in the waiting room talking to the neonatolist and I found out later that she was not to optimistic about Morgans chances for survival. She said 26 weekers just usually have lots of problems, but we will do the best we can for him. Well when she got into delievery and the baby came out, they told me he was sreaming with all his might and they immediately intubated him, but they were very happy that he was screaming and fighting, that increased his chances for survival. When the doctor came back through to take Morgan to the NICU, she told my friends that she was happy with this one because he seemed like a fighter. Well back to me, after they delivered my baby, of course I was still out of it and I didn't wake up until around 11:00 that night. I had him at 7:55 pm. Anyways the first thing that came out of my mouth was what did I have, ( I dont know why) but they told me that they werent sure if it was a boy or girl, talk about confused, but I thought, oh my God what is wrong with my baby. But later we found out that Morgan was born with hypostadious, which is were his hole is underneath the shaft of his penis and it looked like a girl whole and it was so small until they wanted to do genetic testing just to make sure he was a boy. My husband on the other hand told me that he was definatley a boy, I was kind of disappointed for a moment, but then I focused my energy into how my baby was doing and getting him better. But let me say, a mother always knows ( I want to take morgan back to the ultrasound tech and say, I told you he was a boy)haha. Anyways, they had to put me on a drung from the devil himself called magnesium sulfate to bring my bp down and it had me feeling like I literally was going to die. It was the worst I have ever felt in my life. It had to run for 24 hours and at 231/2 hours a nurse from the 2nd shift told me I could have it stopped, so when 8:30 pm rolled around I told the nurse from the 3rd shift what the other nurse said that it could be stopped and she said no, it cant be stopped until 9:00. I was so mad at her, I wanted to punch her in the nose. Well, I don't know how many of you have had magnesium sulfate but it makes you feel like your legs weigh 500 pds each, and I am not kidding. When I finally was allowed to get up and go to the bathroom, it was painful, I couldn't pick my legs up because they were so heavy, my husband had to help me everytime. Well, I finally got to go and see my son on Thursday and when they wheeled me in the NICU it brought back very bad memories of my second son. I thought here we go again. When they finally wheeled me into my little mans bay area, I was in shock of how small he was, and how many tubes, wires, monitors and vents he had on him. Of course I started crying and the realization hit me that this baby had a long road ahead of him. I asked them to show me his privates so I could see what all the fuss was about and the nurse did and I said "why are yall confused he looks just like all other boys except his pee hole. The nurse said it is just standard procedure when they have this condition to test them. So we had to wait for two days before naming our boy so they could make sure that Morgan was really a boy. Of course Morgan can be either boy or girl, but we hadn't named him at the time. Well, I had to stay in the hospital for another day and was released that friday. Once again I had to go home without my baby in my arms. Thus started the long process of Morgan fight for his life.